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no….honey you dont look fat.

I think it is our genetic makeup as men, the wisdom of the Y chromosome, if you will to never EVER comment on a woman’s physique, weight, or eating habits. We tend to cringe if the dreaded “do I look fat?” question is posed to us. I think we can all agree that a direct statement of confirmation is a death sentence. What if she has gained weight or has begun to make unhealthy life choices; now what? Well I am going to share with you (at my own expense), the ways I have come to address this issue without offending anyone and benefit her, me, and our relationship as a whole.

1. Make it about yourself. If i want my wife to stay healthy or even get healthier, I will choose to make my looks and heath seem like what I want to improve. It’s simple; I just make statements that I want to lose a few or I’ll set a goal and hope that she comes along. Maybe she won’t at first, but over time she can’t help but feel obligated to join in or take notice of her own physique.

2. Ask her for help. This kind of a continuum of the first rule; I will make a statement or bring up in a discussion that I think I would like to change my eating habits (notice i did not say diet.  A healthy life style is not short fad, but is permanent mind set). My wife loves to boss me around and I know I’m not the only one that feels this way, but I use this to my advantage. She will come up with an eating plan and exercise plan and she comes with me every step of the way.

3. Take an inward look. This i think is the most important.  My wife is the “healthy” one in our relationship, and I tend to be the one who brings in the bad habits. I love pizza, Nachos, BEER!!!! I am the problem and sometimes I drag her down. So, in knowing this, I fix myself first. If I change my habits, then she will change hers.

4. Find the friction points. When i was working as a drill instructor we would always have to find ways to circumvent anything that could cause a delay or in some way throw a wrench into our momentum we have gained. We called these friction points. A common friction point in losing weight as a couple is meal choices, so I volunteer to do the shopping; I put myself in control of our dietary choices. Another friction point is finding time and energy to exercise during a busy work week. My wife works a regular 9 to 5 and I work 24 on and 48 off so to say we have a strange exercise routine is and understatement. I am an A.M. exerciser; I love the mornings, but my wife keeps the hours of a vampire. So if i think that were falling behind our goals or she behind hers, I change my habits to get us through that friction point. I now exercise at night with my wife, and we both benefit.  We push each other and keep each other honest by making sure we don’t fall of the wagon.

Good luck fellas! Tread lightly, but definitely tread for the better of your relationship and the heath of the both of you! Please feel free to comment, post thoughts or reactions i would love to hear from you!

Kevin

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